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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Ms. Melvilles paragraph

Who's Responsible- animals or pigs?



The honestt way to go is to say that the animals are most responsible for the pigs rise to power. I say this because first off they allowed te pigs to push them around.They allowed Napoleon to chase Snowball out of the farm (they watched as if they couldn't do anything!). They let Napoleon take control the second Snowball was gone and didn't even question it. Another way tey let Napoleon rise to power is by letting him blame Snowball for everything bad that happened. They also used Snowball as an excuse for not getting in trouble.
The final way the animals let the pigs rise to power is by letting them use those dog as a threat.Napoleon had used the dogs as a threat when one of the animals (can't remember who) tried to reject to snowball getting cahsed out of the farm. He also used them as a threat when he walked aruond the farm- the dogs were surrounding him like body guards.So it is obviously my opinion that it i the animals fault for the pigs rise to power.

1 comments:

Constitution Melville said...

Good organization in this paragraph Elicia. You follow the pattern of green-yellow-red very well.

However, I think your yellows could be a bit stronger. Is it really the animals fault that Napoleon uses a pack of dogs? What about all the times when the animals allowed the 7 commandments to change? Also, your reds need to be more specific (if you don't remember, look it up!!), and you needed two quotes in this paragraph.